Men Find Low Libido Difficult
Men who suffer from low libido usually don’t like to talk about it, but low libido in men affects a relationship more than any other form of sexual dysfunction, say sex and relationship therapists.
While some women are not bothered by their own loss of libido, low libido in men scares them because being sexually active is a strong part of male identity.
One survey showed only 23 per cent of men with low libido said they considered themselves happy, while 46 per cent of women with low libido said they were happy.
And as Sydney sex therapist Dr Rosie King notes in Where Did My Libido Go? for men, sex meets important emotional needs they generally cannot get met in other ways, while women are good at getting their emotional needs met in relationships with friends and family.
Says Dr King: “For a man, sex creates intimacy; for a woman intimacy must be present before she feels sexy. For a man, going without sex is like going without conversation for a woman.”
Low Libido in Men & Women ‘Similar’
Low libido in men is a common Aussie problem. Men are almost as likely as women to suffer from low libido, but women often don’t appreciate the same things that cause loss of libido in women also cause low in men.
US sex therapist Michele Weiner Davis says women underestimate the impact financial stress or job loss have on a man’s self-image, and how much it can slam his libido.
A Redbook magazine survey Weiner Davis conducted with 1000 women revealed 60 per cent of considered they wanted sex just as much, if not more, as their husband did. In marriages where the man suffered low libido, most refused to acknowledge it and the relationship often ended in divorce, said Weiner Davis.
Causes of Low Libido in Men
Low libido in men can be the result of changes in three areas of men’s health:
- Physical – for example the side effects of anti-depressants, or low testosterone levels
- Emotional – depression, stress, financial anxiety from feeling job insecurity
- Relationship issues – men are affected by the same relational issues women are – feeling “taken for granted” or being overly criticised and nagged. Like women, men usually need to feel emotionally connected to want sex.
It’s also important to realise low libido and erectile dysfunction are not the same sexual problem. A man may be fully functioning sexually but just not feeling any interest in sex.
How To Increase Men’s Libido
There are many positive ways to overcome low libido in men, depending on what underlies the problem:
Treating Low Libido from Physical Causes
- Get hormone levels checked
- Check medications you are using and find alternatives if they affect libido
- Get plenty of sleep
- Take a herbal supplement like Herbal Ignite which boosts hormone levels naturally and reduces stress
- Check out natural supplements like tribulus terrestris and horny goat weed
- Get more exercise
Treating Low Libido from Emotional Causes
- Reduce stress
- Be willing to acknowledge anxiety and discuss fears
- Allow more space for fun and spontaneity and men’s libido enhancers
Treating Low Libido from Relationship Causes
- Make time for your partner
- Enjoy common interests together that aren’t sexual
- Talk about what’s important to you
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