Great Sex Positions for Men & Women

men and women = different - Great Sex PositionsAny discussion of sexual technique and great sex positions has to take into consideration something sexologists point out frequently: men and women experience their sexuality quite differently, and their response patterns are also quite different. 

While HIS arousal works from the “inside out” – that is from the penis outward, HERS is from the “outside in” – from the peripheries (finger tips, toes, and head) inwards.

Once a man becomes genitally aroused, the rest of their body becomes erotically responsive and sensitive to pleasure.

It is only once women have become generally aroused – with foreplay in the outer zones – that their most sensitive erogenous zones (breasts, genitals and buttocks) are ready for stimulation.

Women Appreciate Sensitive Foreplay

We could call this section ‘Great sex positions – Stage 1’ because taking into account the differences in men’s and women’s arousal, the first important “sex position” is the introduction.

A woman typically likes to be kissed and cuddled and to have her face, neck, shoulders, arms, back and turn off - great sex positionsthighs stroked and kissed. If a woman’s nipples or genitals are stimulated when she is not adequately aroused it can feel uncomfortable, irritating, tickly or even painful.  It can turn her off more than on.

An ancient Taoist love text says a woman’s sexual energy begins in her heart and then moves to her genitals. For the man, energy starts in the genitals and then moves to the heart. This difference, when worked consciously, can bring about the healing of misunderstandings between men and women.

Intercourse and Outercourse

Great sex positions – Stage 2
We all are familiar with sexual intercourse – penetrative sex which is the generally accepted idea of what having sex is all about.

However increasingly there is an understanding outercourse – any sexual activity other than penetrative sex – is capable of giving as much sexual pleasure and sexual satisfaction as the other sort, maybe even more.

Sydney sex therapist Dr Rosie King says the beauty of this kind of thinking is that you have a whole new range of sexual options – and sexual positions –  to play with.
Outercourse includes: 

  • Manual stimulation – pleasuring of your partners genitals with or without lubricant
  • Oral sex
  • Frottage – a French word which means rubbing your genitals against your partner’s thigh, stomach, pubic area or buttocks, with or without the goal of achieving intercourse.  For men frottage includes rubbing the penis on or between the partner’s breasts. Frottage can be performed dry but is even more arousing with a lubricant.
  • Mutual masturbation – manually stimulating each other simultaneously – lubricant and vibrator can be used.
  • Parallel masturbation – each partner self stimulates simultaneously.
  • Self masturbation by one partner in the presence of the other.


Favourite Sex Positions

2012 Esquire magazine survey of more than 500 men aged 21 to 59 (randomly selected by a research company to reflect a balanced sample of the US population) showed:

  •  Married men are 25% more likely to say they’re very satisfied with their sex lives than single men
  •  43% of men have had difficulty getting and/or maintaining an erection… 

• Woman on top (“cowgirl” position), man on top (“missionary”), and man behind woman (“doggy style”) nearly tie for favorite sex position

  •  When asked what their biggest anxiety is when having sex with someone for the first time, men are more than four times as likely to say they are concerned with their sexual performance than with contracting HIV…

esquire - great sex positions

Graphic source: Esquire magazine sex survey 2012

Best Sex Positions for Men

Male superior (missionary) or female superior (woman on top) are the most  physically and psychologically arousing sex positions, says sex therapist Dr Barbara butterfly - great sex positionsKeesling (Men in Bed, Penguin)

But a variation on this, the “butterfly” sex position is a great option for older men with erection issues, delayed ejaculation or a small penis – and it’s also very stimulating for women as well.

Best Sex Positions for Women

According to an Esquire magazine feature Sex Positions, Tips and Tricks, the Reverse Cowgirl Position is one that many women find pleasurable.

They quote Beverly Whipple, Ph.D, Professor Emerita at Rutgers University and co-author of The Science of Orgasm as saying:

“Find out what position of intercourse is most stimulating to her — it’s usually woman on top, facing away, also known as the reverse cowgirl. The angle of the penis through the anterior/front wall of the vagina stimulates the area of the G-spot.”

Don’t Get Obsessive About Sex Positions

don't obsess - great sex positionsVariety is the spice of life and that applies to our sex lives as much as anything, so don’t be afraid to try something new. Always remember though that sex is about intimacy, warmth and emotional closeness, so remember a preparation of caring communication will do wonders in helping the physical aspects of great sex positions be satisfying and complete for both partners. And if you need a little herbal help to get aroused, there is always Herbal Ignite for MenIgnite for Women, or Ignite Intimate lubricant gel  to assist in creating that special moment.