Top Tips for a Better Sex Lifebetter sex - leverage

For many Australian men, marriage spells doom to a better sex life, according to Sydney author Nigel Marsh. Adman Marsh says many Aussie men are permanently sexually frustrated, and complain their wives never initiate sex. Rather, they try to use sex as leverage in the relationship. Couple’s sexual problems can be caused by a wide range of issues but most commonly are related to individual attitude rather than age or health issues.

And yet marriage is still popular; one national survey showed 50 per cent of the men who took part thought married people are happier than unmarried and an international study shows married men are happier than they would have been if they’d remained single.

Yet many couples find sexual performance takes a dive after a few years of marriage. Life’s daily grind makes exciting sex a distant memory. However as many couples have discovered for themselves, sex certainly can get better with age.
Herbal Ignite’s better sex guide gives you top sex life tips and tricks to fire up that old magic.

Better Sex Tip No 1 – Get walking together

Getting healthy together will do wonders for how you feel – and University of Adelaide Professor of 

better sex - walking togetherMedicine Dr Gary Wittert tells his patients there’s no better way to get your sex life back on track than walking.
“Instead of sitting down in front of the telly, take your wife by the hand and say, ‘Come, darling, let’s go for a walk,'” he told MyHealthNewsDaily. “After a month of this, her heart will get fonder and your erection will get stronger.“A study by Dr Wittert found losing just 5 to 10 per cent of body weight over a two month period improved erectile function and upped sex drive. Modest weight loss rapidly reversed sexual and urinary problems and the effects lasted for as long as a year.US studies show a brisk 30 minute daily walk can extend your sex life by ten years, and works for women as well as men.

Better Sex Tip No 2 – Remember men’s and women’s brains work differently

gender brains - better sexGoing without sex bothers men more than women. For men, having sex fulfils emotional needs. Sydney sex expert Dr Rosie King says going without sex for men is like going without conversation for a women.

And a top sex expert says many men are on a “five day cycle” (wanting sex once every five days), while many women are on a ten day cycle.Men and women respond to different sexual enhancers: men are much more direct and visual in their sexual cues, while sex enhancers for women are much more diffuse.  For men, think sexy lingerie and cleavage; for women, conversation, being appreciated, and other expressions of emotional intimacy.That’s why seeking an erectile dysfunction treatment without investing time in the relationship won’t led to better sex for most couples. More than 50 per cent of men who find successful ED treatments don’t continue with them. A better sex life requires more than a strong erection.

Better Sex Tip No 3 – Do new, exciting and slightly risky things together

Adrenalin makes the heart grow fonder, andbungee adrenaline - better sex studies show couples who do exciting things together feel more satisfaction and enjoy a better sex life.

Go white water rafting, swim after dark, buy last minute tickets to a sports event or theatre show . . . Any new activity, but particularly risky or dangerous ones, prompts spontaneous attraction by stimulating adrenaline (closely related to dopamine and norepinephrine).The “creaky bridge” study – which involved getting men to walk past women on either a steady, broad low bridge or a flimsy high suspension one – confirmed the idea that sharing exciting experiences can enhance feelings of attraction.Planning dates together, particularly something new, is a key strategy Ian and Mary Grant suggest for building great relationships in couples seminars in Australia and New Zealand.

Better Sex Tip No 4 – Watch your language

Research shows the ratio of praise to blame is like spring rain – praise and your marriage will flourish, blame and the intimacy – and the sex – will die. Couples who say five positive things for one negative have got a much better chance of enjoying good sex. When the threshold drops to one to two they are in trouble.

Thousands of trials have shown men are much more negatively affected by arguments.

“Flooding” – when brain messages bypass the thinking and judging mechanisms and go straight to the “old reptile brain” – the section of the brain that generates negative emotions and knee jerk reactions – happens at much lower levels of criticism in men than women and they stay in that flooded state for longer. That’s a big sexual turn off.

Better Sex Tip No 5 – Operate a love bank

When difficulties arise, focus on restoring love, not resolving conflicts.

If you can maintain the feelings of romantic love, conflict resolves itself. (Romantic love triggers the endorphins which give the pleasurable feeling of being in love – and then a better sex life comes naturally.)Love Bank - better sex

The Love Bank idea was developed by Dr William Harley, author of Fall in Love, Stay in Love. Think about the “love currency” you can deposit for your partner.

Ask yourself “What can I do that makes him feel the best?” Men thrive when offered recreational companionship, better sex and admiration. Women thrive on affection, openness and honesty.

What makes people happiest is receiving attention from the people who matter most.